clair072

Ohhh infertility. You painful, hurtful condition. Just as I "feel good again," I experience more reminders of my losses. That is why I have this blog: to write about the good and to write about the bad. Living life after infertility, while it does get good again, still has its ups and downs. Most recently... ***** UP So I realized that the vast majority of my friends are either in their 20s or their 50s and 60s. This is because they either don't have kids or their kids are already grown. I have very few friends that are around my age. I had lunch with a friend last week. She is in her early sixties, and her son and his wife (who are almost ten years younger than me) just had their first baby. It is my friend's first grandchild. I remember feeling shocked when she told me about the pregnancy. I mean, I figured it was coming. I just didn't realize how soon. Anyway, I hadn't seen her since the baby came, and I was looking forward to hearing what they named him. (...

Hello! I just got back from a little vacation visiting my parents (which was incredibly relaxing and went extremely well--another post for another time). And today I am being intentionally lazy. I'm starting to get a little bored, but it's my last day of nothingness. :) Starting tomorrow, I have errands to run and things to do all week before school takes over my life again. So I am sitting here daydreaming. It was weird to come home earlier this week. I missed my dog and my husband (not necessarily in that order hahaha), but... Not much else. ;) I love where I live so I don't ever plan on complaining about it, but I've been here almost 25 years and I. Am. Done. Completely ready to move on. Well, almost... Gotta finish up school first. I came home and felt so... Renewed. :) I felt like a new version of me. This time last year I was stressed from moving (still, even though it had already been 6 months) and extremely anxious about going back to school. This year I know wh...

School sucks but at least it ends. Every semester ends, and, eventually, whatever program you're in ends. And then you move on to more school or your career or whatever. Right now I am enjoying a moment where I can just pause and take a slow, deep breath. I have officially finished the first year of my graduate-level healthcare program. The even better part is... Let the countdown begin!!! Let's wrap up another year of coursework, pack up what's left of my stuff, and move out of state! There are so many more opportunities for me where I'm going. Where I am now would be perfect if I was raising children. But I'm not. So I'm moving somewhere else to live a different life. The last five years were awful. I didn't know what to do, but I knew no one was gonna do anything for me. I had to dig really fucking deep to come up with any ideas for what to do with the rest of my life. Every day was a struggle. Every step was nearly impossible. Every single thing was just...

My best friend got a puppy! She's a little white labrador, and she's so cute. My friend has been texting me pictures throughout the day and I loved seeing this little pup's car ride home and first nap on the bed. Is this how other people feel when their best friend has a baby?? Haha. (Disclaimer: I don't equate kids and animals. They're both great, but they are two very different things.) But I am SO excited! Hahaha. Part of my excitement is that the puppy is so darn cute! But another part of it is it satisfies my desire to get a puppy. I can live vicariously through her pictures and stories. I will eventually meet the pup, but we live very far apart so she will be much bigger by the time I meet her. She's so little and cute and sleepy. Haha I'm already looking forward to more pictures and/or videos this week. ***** I love this friend. We met at a job almost ten years ago, both moved on to new jobs almost as soon as we'd met. Now we live in different sta...